I knew all along

what losing you would mean

and I understood what I was losing

and I didn’t prepare myself

because how do you prepare yourself for the

grief of loss?

I knew I was losing my soft spot

my one last place to fall

the last place

I could still be a child

free from responsibilities

and surrounded

by warmth and cookies

and coffee and memories

and history and place and

now I am homeless

my heart is without 4 walls-