It’s tough to hold your head up
when you’re too dumb to chime in
and speak up and contribute to the conversation and
the thing is you’re not really dumb
you just feel things stronger than you can speak them
and then you can’t find the words
you’re not dumb, really
but it feels that way.
It’s tough to be rolling up on fifty
and still think you are thirty
and still think your hair is long and black
and your legs are still nice and lean
and then you get a glimpse of yourself in the mirror
and some hag is looking back.
It’s tough to get old
and become invisible
but when you feel like a hag
then you’ll take invisible
because it’s better than being seen.
It’s tough to not have the answers
and not have the money
and not have the looks
and not have geez-whatever it is you’re supposed to have
and well, that keeps changing
One day it will be cool to be gray and plump and sweet and dumb
until then I will have to wait.
Waiting is tough.