release me you irreplaceable you

I am thinking of leaving you behind

pretending to have amnesia and

I never met you but it’s not like It’s a Wonderful Life never met you where everything is different and in black and white and it’s snowing

but where I’m o.k. I’m solid and

how happy would I be not remembering how unhappy I am remembering you


thinking of leaving you behind is it

possible to do so

can I walk in a space where you never existed

that means being a child the only time of my life when you were not there but

now I am an old woman middle age and grey we’re talking letting go of thirty years

of you or me

is this good or bad or even possible

I must admit it feels like asking to live without

shoes or sunsets or

something natural and vital and yet it feels